(Don’t you dare ask me what’s for dinner)
I’ve made 37 decisions today and it’s not even lunchtime. The next person who asks me a question gets a fork thrown at them.
Okay, not really. But also … kinda really.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve had days where you’ve navigated work meetings, family group chats, three versions of your child’s emotional state, the state of the pantry (dire), and whether or not that weird ache in your shoulder is “just a midlife thing” or something you should WebMD and regret. And then someone – anyone – has the utter gall to ask the question, “What’s for dinner?” and you just … short-circuit.
This is decision fatigue. And for me, smack in the middle of midlife, it’s practically a lifestyle. If you’ve felt overwhelmed, unmotivated, or like your brain is buffering while someone waits for an answer … you’re not alone.
Midlife: the perfect storm for decision fatigue
Midlife is like the boss level of a video game you didn’t know you were playing. Except there’s no pause button, and the soundtrack is just your phone pinging every five seconds.
You’re managing a lot. School lunches or empty nests, ageing parents, demanding jobs, the group chat, the dentist appointment you forgot to book, or the mental load of just keeping all the plates spinning.
Add to that a changing sense of identity (hello existential spiral) and you’ve got a perfect storm. It’s no wonder your brain is waving a tiny white flag and whispering, “No more choices today, thanks.”
What it feels like
Decision fatigue in midlife doesn’t always announce itself with a grand breakdown. Sometimes, it’s subtle:
- You scroll TikTok for 40 minutes and can’t remember a single thing you watched.
- You open the fridge, shut it again, and order UberEats.
- You find yourself snapping at your partner because they’re breathing too loudly.
- You fantasise about a silent retreat … or jail. Either one sounds peaceful, honestly.
- You delay everything – emails, texts, actual decisions – because you just can’t.
It’s not that you’re lazy. It’s that your brain has run out of RAM.
This is a time of life that is genuinely overloaded – and you’re probably doing it while also trying to drink more water, meditate, and remember your Netflix password.
The guilt? Bin it.
How to cope with decision fatigue
Some things that help (a little):
- Create defaults – Set up routines that remove daily decisions: taco Tuesday, same lunch every day, black leggings forever.
- Phone settings are your friend – Turn off non-essential notifications. You don’t need to be pinged every time someone likes a reel you didn’t post.
- Make decisions in batches – Plan the week’s dinners once and be done. Or wear the same three outfits on rotation. No one’s paying that much attention.
- Say “I don’t know yet” – It buys you breathing space and feels more powerful than “I don’t care.”
- Outsource the mental load – Ask your partner to own dinner decisions. Or the calendar. Or the Christmas shopping. If you are not the only adult in the house, then behave that way.
- Laugh, then cry, then nap – Doesn’t have to be in that order. You do you.
Sometimes you just need to disengage for a while. Scroll a little. Stare at the ceiling. Let your brain float.
Free resource: journal prompts for decision fatigue
If your brain feels like a browser with 78 tabs open, and none of them are playing the music you can hear … I’ve got something for you.
Journal Prompts for When You’ve Had Enough is a mini mental declutter designed to help you press pause, sort the noise from the needs, and start making space to think again. Small pages. Big exhale.
To download, sign up below and gain access to The Vault. 👇
